


but so far - eternity

by MiniNephthys



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 19:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniNephthys/pseuds/MiniNephthys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaster, Asgore, and idle thoughts in the void.</p>
            </blockquote>





	but so far - eternity

Love knows no chronology.

They don’t say that, because there’s hardly ever an occasion in which it would be applicable as an axiom. Gaster’s situation is, thank God, unique.

It’s true, nonetheless. Every time he looks upon Asgore, Asgore’s life without him, love squeezes what might have been his heart if he still had a body.

Pieces of his life reach Gaster in no particular order or pattern, with equal weight on the mundane and significant. He loves the Asgore who waters his flowers and never sees the human child as much as he loves the Asgore who gives his life and soul so that the child may pass through the barrier, the Asgore who reaches the surface and learns to forgive humans as much as the Asgore who is slaughtered in his own garden. He loves even the Asgore who takes the seventh and final human soul and breaks the barrier, only for monsters to once again lose their war against humans.

It had never really been the wisest of plans. He had never been the wisest of monsters: he’d only been one of the kindest.

In the infinite time he has, Gaster sometimes imagines being able to speak to Asgore again. Sometimes Asgore recalls him, and sometimes he doesn’t. At Gaster’s most self-indulgent, he imagines being able to touch him, to hold his hands or bump his forehead against his.

Of course none of that will ever happen. But Gaster has plenty of time to kill with idle daydreams, even if they ache once he’s done with them.

Sometimes Gaster imagines scooping the dust off Asgore’s flowers, careful not to let it fall through the holes in his hands. He’d loved those flowers, so it’s only appropriate that some of him rest there - but if he could, he’d take at least a pinch of it to place on the sweater his child had made for him, and on his other mementos. He’d loved his family more than anything.

That will never happen, either, not in hundreds of thousands of timelines.

Gaster wonders if the consciousnesses of monsters who have fallen down survive - if somewhere, Asgore continues to watch at least his own timeline progress, together with his loved ones. His loved ones minus one, at least, but even those in Heaven can’t have everything.

He’d never know what he was missing, anyway. Perhaps it’s presumptuous to even include himself.

Gaster has time to observe every possibility and imagine every impossibility. He has nothing better to do than to think, when he is even coherent enough to think. Even if he should try to turn his thoughts elsewhere, eventually, they’ll come back to the ones he wishes he could meet again.

Just one more time. Once would be enough to satisfy him until the end of forever. One farewell…

Ah, but what is the point of saying goodbye to someone who doesn’t remember you? Perhaps it’s for the best, after all, that he will never have even that much.


End file.
